When it comes to marriage, we can all use some help. Here are 10 tips I’ve culled together from some of the greatest marriage-oriented people I know. Enjoy, and watch your relationship bloom into something even better than it already is.
Marriage Pro-tip #1: Ditch the ‘its your job’ mentality.
Feel comfortable doing anything you can do for yourself, yourself. That’s not to say you have no established division of labor and responsibilities in the home. However, if something is not to your liking, just quickly and easily do it yourself if possible.
Immediately eliminates 90% of all domestic squabbles (which lead to bitterness & resentment).
Marriage Pro-tip #2: Don’t make any important decisions under duress.
If something is not going right, and you’re ready to throw in the towel — take a deep breath, and wait. Give your relationship six months to self-repair.
During this time, work on setting boundaries to protect yourself.
99% of the time, the issue will dissipate, and your relationship will be stronger, too.
Marriage Pro-tip #3: Schedule Sex, regularly.
This only works when both of you honor these times, and commit 100%.
Agree on an frequency that works for both of you. You can have as much spontaneous bedroom fun as you wish, but always stay true to your schedule.
Eliminates 90% of all fights over romance, affection, and intimacy.
Marriage Pro-tip #4:Practice Gratitude, often.
Appreciation is the elixir of a long and happy and loving relationship.
My wife & I have begun texting each other 5 Gratitudes 2-3 times / week. If you cannot find something to be appreciative about your spouse, it says much more about you, then them.
Pick out 5 wonderful things, and let them know.
Marriage Pro-Tip #5: Never Criticize – Ever.
In a healthy, loving relationship, there is no room for criticism at all.
It sounds difficult, but it is 100% necessary to have a happy marriage. This takes practice and self-reflection, but can be done.
This one tip eliminates 90% of negative feelings in the relationship, and strengthens trust as well
Marriage Pro-Tip #6 : Learn Communication 101
“I feel that you’re a moron” is not a true “I” statement. Neither is: “When you act like an idiot, I feel angry”
Learn basic communication skills, keeping responsibility for your feelings and reactions where they belong — with yourself.
Proper phraseology will save you hours of arguments, bad feelings and bitterness.
Marriage Pro-Tip #7: Marriage is not a Continuous Therapy Session
Don’t overburden your spouse with constant “talks” about your relationship.
Spend most of your time enjoying each other and working towards your common goals, not analyzing your relationship.
This tip will help to keep things light & fresh.
Marriage Pro-Tip #8: Make Time for Her
Do activities that you think SHE likes. Show interest in HER projects.
Let her know that her happiness is your #1 priority. It doesn’t mean turning into a dishrag, but it does mean putting her needs first on occasion.
You both will win!
Marriage Pro-Tip #9: List your reasons for being married, and review – often
Establishing goals for your marriage is a key to success.
Making a list of your marriage values helps keep you on course when the sea gets rough (and it will). If something bothers you that doesn’t interfere with your goals- fuggedaboutit and move on!
Your goals are your guideposts to keep you on course.
Marriage Pro-Tip #10: Remember why you first fell in love.
Recalling our courtship stories has the proven effect of creating loving feelings.
Rewind the memory reel to some of your favorite times, and realize that you are with the same amazing person you once knew.
Dust off the old photo book, share a cup of coffee, and laugh about the good old times!
Enjoy!
~Dovid Feldman
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