In today’s age of letting it all hang out, of being your “authentic self,” and using all your charms to garner views, likes, and clicks, the concept of modesty feels so…so…old.
Yet, for most of us (especially those reading this), getting married or building a great marriage is our end goal.
So how can being modest get us there? Isn’t modesty the exact opposite of getting the attention we need to land a spouse?
I ran across this beautiful story which says it better than I ever could. Enjoy!
A person arrived in a store wearing clothes that showed their body all too well. The shop owner, being a wise older man, took a look, asked them to sit down, looked straight into their eyes, and said something they would never forget for the rest of their life.
“Every valuable thing God has made is covered up and hard to see and find:
1. Where are diamonds found?
• Far down in the ground, covered in hard rock.
2. Where are pearls from?
• Deep in the ocean, protected and hidden in beautiful shells.
3. Where is gold mined?
• Underground, covered with thick layers of stone.”
“So too, our bodies are sacred and unique to God. You are far more precious than gold, diamonds, and pearls.”
He then added: “If you keep your precious gems deeply covered, a reputable miner with the necessary machines will work for years to mine those precious goods.
* First, they will contact your government (family),
* Second, sign professional contracts (marriage),
* Third, they will professionally extract those goods, and tenderly refine those precious goods. (marital life).
But if you leave your precious gems on top of the Earth’s surface, exposed to everyone, you will attract irreputable, amateur miners, who will exploit you and freely take those riches.” ~Diane Walls
As we can see from this story, the beautiful body that we have been blessed with is a gem. And, as with all things precious, we cover and protect it.
This is not to say that we shouldn’t make effort to dress well. Obviously, impressions matter, not to mention that dressing nicely increases our self-confidence and self-respect.
But there is a world of difference between attractive and attracting.
Attractive is a sign that you respect yourself as well as others. You take care of your body, and your appearance matters. This is a statement about who you are and your values. This is about you, and taking pride in your presentation. When we dress attractively, we are pleasant to be around and invite others to connect with who we are as a person, on the inside.
Attracting, on the other hand, is about others. It says less about your own sense of self—your own values—and instead focuses on the attention you can get from those around you. When we share with others our most precious possession, when we put our private parts on display, it screams “Look at me! I have nothing else to offer!” Because we distract others from what’s on the inside, we focus them merely on what’s showing on the outside.
Unironically, the attention you seek is exactly the attention you will receive. Quickly, those only looking for an external, quick, and superficial connection will flock to you, to grab the riches you leave on the table. Not interested in who you really are, they will take their fill and move on. This is the opposite of self-respect.
In truth, ever since Adam & Eve covered up, we all understand this intuitively. It’s just that in our current society, we’ve become confused, and behaviors that are detrimental to meaningful relationships have unfortunately become accepted. Maybe even pushed. How sad.
But it’s never too late to turn over a new leaf or strengthen our own beliefs and behaviors. What would happen if you took one small step today towards modesty? How would you feel about yourself if you decided that, like a precious gem, you are too valuable to be put on display for the world to see? How would this affect the way you see yourself, and the way your partner sees you?
“I’m saving myself for me, and for the one I love.”
Try it on. See what happens!
You are valuable — your mind, your soul, and especially your body. When you treat yourself that way, you are indicating to others that the only way in, the only way to connect with you, is through respecting you, your body, and treating you like a precious gem.