One of the most powerful opportunities in parenting is our ability to shape our kids’ future in advance. Yet with such powerful messages constantly flooding our family life, how do we actually get our children’s attention? And their trust?
In my experience, we can shape our children’s perspectives through handy tips and practical instruction doled out in tiny bits throughout the children’s growing years. While your teens may find discussions about how they may go about using the phone unnecessary, neglecting to address issues may lead to harm and actual danger. A hands off approach to parenting will usually result in negative consequences. We must actively and keenly seek out potential danger in its various forms and stop it before it harms our children. This often times means tying-up loose ends as much as you can and as early as is possible.
You may need to speak to your son or daughter on a topic which he or she is reluctant to discuss. Or maybe you yourself are uncomfortable discussing it. Yet as parents, only we understand our children’s needs, and that they require direction on a particular issue — even if the child does not believe that the issue is important and may be resisting this discussion. Breach topics which the child is not amenable to using clever approaches. Children may not be ready to hear a parent’s explanation why a certain relationship is a harmful and needs to be terminated, so you must be creative in your approach.
Children enter the world of adults, strong, when we make it a habit of describing problems which adults regularly face. Take advantage of their youthful innocence to elaborate ways in which the child may avoid, or successfully deal with a situation even if the outcomes of that particular challenge are negative or painful.
Guiding your children equips both young men and women for adult life, often in ways greater than we realize. As your child grows, they incorporate your teachings, your wisdom, and perfect his or her responses. Most importantly, teach children to recognize abuse and bullying and how to best protect themselves and avoid harassment.
Helping your children to develop communication skills is one of the greatest gifts we can bequeath. Teach them how to ask for their needs in an honorable manner, with no shame. Explain to your child why and how cultivating a habit of punctuality or punctiliousness and vivacious action in all duty will be beneficial in adult life.
It is important that teens and young adults include safety plans in their schedules. Safety plans provide an opportunity for teens and young adults to think ahead and evaluate their potential environment. Teens and young adults are prone to abuse and harm because this age group is entering the adult world but do not yet possess the knowledge or wisdom to face the challenges therein. It is your responsibility as a parent to talk with your children about why it is important to practice safety and awareness in all environments.
It’s never too early to teach children about money and its meaning.
Financial responsibility is a hallmark of adulthood. Children who understand financial dynamics of working, earning and investing using basic simple approaches from a young age will have a huge advantage as adults.
Teens and young adults need more guidance because time away from home is increasing and the challenges they face become more complex. To adjust to this new dynamic, parents must develop greater tact and find ways to have quality time and physical presence not to miss out on the important issues.
Building trust between you and your children is the foundation of your relationship. Let your children know at a young age why it is important to communicate their fears and confide in a parent. Demonstrate why trust between a parent and a child is important. Trust building cancels out the probability of predators harming children through coercion, intimidation or seduction.
Don’t forget – communication between you are your children is a lifelong pleasure, and responsibility. As they get bigger, the issues do to! Enjoy!
~Dovid Feldman
