Today, more than ever, as men and women, we are out of touch with our strongest qualities, which are specifically designed to bring us closer, create unity, and inspire the deepest connection between us.
In general, men are givers, women receivers. Men focus on the external, women internal. This is borne out not just in personality differences but also in our physiology, too. This is part of the dynamic of life, where a woman will receive from a man and then create from his gift something so much greater—like a child, for instance!
Giving for men includes providing, protecting, and showing our love and appreciation. This is part of what it means to be a man, a lover, a husband, and a father, and what she craves most from us.
For women, this includes nurturing, accepting, and, mainly, receiving with grace. This is what binds your heart to his and inspires him to be the man he is capable of, the man you want.
Yes, it’s nice to give the way she wants and for her to receive the love she needs. But it’s even more powerful to give because it’s part of who you are and receive because your husband gives.
A husband brings flowers (chocolate/ice cream/insert favorite keto-protein snack here) because that’s what men do. Giving to his wife is the definition of a good husband who wants to build a great marriage.
A wife receives, graciously, accepting her husband’s efforts with a smile, a kiss, appreciation, and love because creating an accepting vessel for your husband’s energy is the force that brings you two together and allows you to create something greater.
One of the first assignments I give to the couples I work with is #FridayFlowers. His ability to consistently give to her each week, in spite of his own feelings, fears, busyness, excuses, and even in spite of her protests, reveals to me much about where he is holding as a man.
And her ability to receive his gifts with a warm smile, appreciation, and love tells me volumes of where she is at in her relationship skills and in her femininity in general.
But the magic behind #FridayFlowers is when times are tough. When he doesn’t feel like giving, and she doesn’t feel like receiving. When they are fighting with each other when the energy is cold. Because that’s when, in spite of the difficulty, he shows, “I love you more than our current problems. You — and our marriage — are more important to me than whatever issue is disconnecting our hearts. I am here for you, forever, no matter what. You can count on me.”
And she receives graciously. “I’m upset at you. I don’t feel close to you. You hurt me. And yet, you are my husband, who, underneath it all, I love and accept and only want to feel close to. Thank you for showing up when it’s difficult. Even if I don’t like you right now, I can trust you and feel safe. You are mine, and I am yours, forever.”
We give #FridayFlowers to her but for us. And she receives your gift not because she wants them right now but because she wants you, your love, and her marriage—something you both want to build together.
Start today and start Building your own Great Marriage!